Photo Journal: Phuket, My Second Date with Thailand
Eons ago, I went on a date with this incredibly cute, smart, athletic Thai guy who I thought was way out of my league. So, of course I wanted to be prepared with effortlessly interesting and insightful things to say about Thailand (a country I had not yet visited) and basketball (a sport I dislocated my shoulder playing). After a quick shower and primp, I giddily googled random facts about the country, its history, its people, classic dishes… basically everything I could get my greedy little hands on. And you know what? I went in pretty hopeful that my nonchalant knowledge of random Thailand facts would engage him in a magical evening of unrivaled charm and wit…
Only — it turned out to be the worst date of my life.
I know, I know, that’s a pretty harsh statement to make; but really, I’m not sure it could have gone any worse. It was just blow up after blow up. And from the second he picked me up from my midtown apartment to the beep of his car alarm as we arrived to the restaurant, he was already frantic about getting out (to his friend’s bachelor party later that evening).
“Would another time be better?” I asked crestfallen.
“No, no, tonight is fine. I just want to warn you that I have to leave in an hour and a half,” he replied.
Ok. That’s fine. So we arrive at the somewhat new and still-on-everyone’s-lips restaurant in Chelsea where he proceeded to order the 10-course omakase tasting menu. After the waitress walked away with our order, I counted the seconds before busting out one of my intriguing factoids. C’mon, I didn’t want to seem that eager.
One-Mississippi, two-Mississippi, three-Mississippi…
“So, do you know why Thai last names are so long?” I quizzed, too casually.
“Hmmm… no…. why?” he asked out loud. “And why would anyone give a flying @#*%?” he probably asked silently.
“Once a family name is given in Thailand, it will not be given again. So people emigrating into Thailand had to add to their surnames if the name is already registered by another family.”
“Interesting,” he said as he glanced at his phone.
A glance became a text. A text became a series of texts. Those texts became a phone call that lasted half an hour.
From the girlfriend he forgot to mention he had. True story.
“NO! I told you, I’m not with anyone right now. I’m alone having dinner,” he shouted over the din.
Needless to say, the date didn’t last long. Was it my innocent factoid, I thought silently. Meanwhile, he asked for the remaining 9-courses to be bagged up and insisted on driving me home despite my protests to take a cab. Not only did he drive like a maniac and almost get us killed twice, he kept shouting at his girlfriend that she was a lunatic for thinking he was out cheating behind her back.
He drove back to my apartment in 10 minutes flat, insisted I take the 9-courses with me and sped off. Phuket, I thought, a $500 takeaway meal for a crummy date: I called it a wash.
My best friend Narf came over to laugh at me sympathize with kind words and a hungry stomach as we ate the still-warm-and-juicy wagyu filet — one of Morimoto’s signature dishes.
I never went out with the Thai again but I did give Thailand a second date when I went to Phuket. And we had the best date a girl could ever ask for. We laughed, we basked under the sun, we zip-lined, we rode elephants, we stuffed ourselves with fatty fried foods and didn’t have a care in the world…
Phuk the first date, Phuket the second.
Hotel:
Trisara
60/1 Moo 6, Srisoonthorn Road, Cherngtalay,
Thalang, Phuket 83110 Thailand
Tel: +66 76 310100
katelindsaylifecoaching
Oh my! And I thought I had been on a bad date or two. Your story made me laugh at myself some but that guy mostly. He clearly missed out. But you…. you did not. What a beautiful place. Thailand has made the “I want to see” list now. Thank you for sharing. So glad you took this second date
Paula
I LOVE Thailand, I went there in 2009 and think it is one of the most beautiful, friendly and wonderful places on this earth. The markets are amazing and the smells! well they tell a story all by themselves! Your pictures remind me of my travels..although treatment of Elephants weren’t that great I have to say, I hope those in your pictures were treated ok? Nonetheless a wonderful place…..:)
Melissa
OMG I love your pictures. That corn looks delicious and I love, love, love elephants. I’ve never been to Thailand but it’s definitely on my list. It looks like such an incredible place.
Kendra
Second date sounds sooooo very much better than the first! And as always love your photos! But I must ask you…you have pictures of a reddish fruit that has spines or whatever they are called all over. If I remember correctly they are white on the inside and are absolutely delicious. But for the life of me I cannot recall what they are! They look so yummy in your photo!
Ron
Actually i have a post on Trip advisor / Phuket titled, “Does anyone know about the live Karon beach web cam.” And i saw your comment. I then noticed your profile photo was interesting. (And i am drawn to beautiful asian women)…..(It’s a blessing and a curse :). And thats my story and i’m sticking to it. Great photography. I love Phuket, been there 3 times. Also loved Philippines, when i was there… Those beaches are perfect. I am a fan of your work and look forward to more. Ron Twemlow. Vancouver Canada
Ron
You are obviously very intelligent and obviously very talented and obviously very beautiful :)
elleyess
Hi Ron, thank you for your kind words! My date didn’t seem to think so but I appreciate that you do :) I hope you’ll enjoy your visit here.
Ron
Wow Stupid man! I have heard from a lot of Thai women that Thai men are….Well a little different. Love your photos… and youre from New York??? Is it true yours is the city that never sleeps. :-)
StevenS
Hey Lisa – Jeff T reminded me about your site/blogs – of course I was drawn to your Thailand photos… makes me miss Thailand a lot. Hope/trust you’re doing great & hope to see you in NYC soon :) S
elleyess
Thanks Steven :) I hope we can catch up soon
Kristin
I love this post, the story, the pics, the writing! This is 1 of those memories that will always make you laugh when you look back.
Elleyess
haha yes, laughing definitely makes the memory more fond
NMG
Another great post, always a joy to read. Photos are incredible as always.
I do however, feel guilty taking pleasure in your misfortune.
Phuket part 2 June 28th – 30th see you there.
Elleyess
Thanks NMG.. Can’t wait for Part Deux!
Jeff Williams
Great pictures, as usual. You make us feel like we’re there with you. The pictures are at once, artistic, elegant as well as warm. They are reflective of not just what you see, but also what you feel. The beauty catches our our eyes, the feeling captures our hearts. Well done, Lisa.
elleyess
Thank you, Jeff. That means a lot.
PrettyFlyforaThaiguy
funny/charming post and gorgeous pics all! :)
elleyess
it’s funny… now :(
Narf
great composition in all photos. can’t wait to phuking go myself!!!!
elleyess
Narf, miss you!
JW
New fav. I came back from breakfast to my hotel and my room was being serviced so I decided to be polite and just wait. Luckily, I came upon this new post and by the time the cleaning lady opened my door, I was sitting on the floor in the hallway, leaning against my outside wall, phukin laughing my ass off. She was very sweet but was like “um, can you use your own keycard to get inside?” HAHAHA
elleyess
I’m glad we can all laugh at this experience now.. including myself ;)